That Rainy Day Feeling

 

“The best thing one can do when it’s raining is to let it rain.”  ~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

It’s been raining for what seems like a week here in Georgia.   The rain is welcome as all the summer gardens have been planted.   All this rain has me thinking  about and feeling the water element and what it teaches us.  

Have you ever noticed how many songs are written about the rain?   Here are a few that come to mind right away:

Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling Again, Rainy Days and Mondays, Purple Rain,  Rain on Me, and most appropriate for where I live, Rainy Night in Georgia.  If any more songs come to mind, please feel free to respond in the blog responder below.

What kind of feeling does a rainy day evoke in you?  Do you even notice a difference in how you feel?  For some people rain creates a sense of coziness, a nesting feeling.  For others, too much rain creates a feeling of dread, sadness, lethargy.  Pay attention to your feelings, they are sign posts offering you more information about you.   And the more you learn about yourself, you will be able to hear your soul more clearly.

Many people fear their emotions and they run from them, or at least they believe they are running from them.  However, emotions don’t go away, they wait and surface again.  The water element encourages us to honor, acknowledge, and notice what we feel before trying to change it with a positive affirmation or happy thought.  These are both healthy things to do, following the acknowledgement.   Otherwise your subconscious will say to the happy thought “not true”.  

Consider what you do with your emotions.  Do you dump them on others by blaming,yelling, or gossiping?  Or perhaps the pendulum swings in the other direction and you swallow what you feel?  Neither way is healthy, neither way honors the water element.  Water is meant to move, and when you simply feel, information surfaces.  Then, the water element will carry you to the voice of your soul.

The Simon Factor

If you haven’t heard of Simon Cowell by now, he’s the tough talking acerbic judge on the hugely popular television show American Idol and his own talent show in England called the X Factor.  Simon is known for his callous comments which at times can be downright rude, even though he often preempts what he says with “I don’t mean to be rude…”.   So why do the contestants that are being judged seem to put so much weight into what Simon says?  Probably why most people wait to hear his assessment – he speaks his truth.   His communication style is not always constructive as he says what is on his mind without much editing, positive or negative.  And because he is so brutally truthful, that seems to make the praise he doles out worth it to those being judged. 

In the real world, how often do you speak your truth?  Do you withhold what you are thinking or feeling to protect others?  Do you speak your truth without editing to get heard?  Both are extreme communication styles. If you find it difficult to speak your truth to important people in your life or in business, consider how safe it was a child to express your feelings.  Were your feelings honored or ignored in your family?  If you find yourself in sticky situations because you blurt out your truth without tact, reflect on how you got heard in your family.  Perhaps you had to become loud to get heard, or your parents modeled expressive, degrading communication.  Whatever you experienced in the past has an effect on how you communicate and relate today.  

If you are at either end of the spectrum of speaking your truth, you can begin to change this dynamic to create the opportunity to be heard. If you are withholding your feelings, you’re not being heard.  If you are blurting out your truth without consideration for others, you are also not getting heard as others may not take you seriously. To move yourself out of the two opposite communication styles of passive being quiet and aggressive-being bluntly direct, you can express yourself in a clear, adult manner utilizing this easy three step process;   

1. When you__________ or this situation________ happens/happened
2. I feel/felt _____
3. I need you to/not to___________

If the recipient changes the subject or gets defensive, name that and repeat the three steps, requesting to be heard.  If you hit a wall, use the three step process to express your frustration, disappointment, anger or whatever you are feeling. The benefits of speaking up for yourself and your feelings in a clear, concise manner are immense.   When you are true to yourself, your inner sense of well being and self esteem increases because you are in integrity with yourself and your soul.  Speak clearly, get heard and take yourself from zero to hero, as Simon says!

Live Your Dreams~Now!

“Begin at once to live, and count each separate day as a separate life.” ~ Seneca

Life is precious.  On your journey here, you mostly get to choose your experience.  What are you choosing and what dreams are you still holding in your soul?  What do you want to experience during your precious life? 

Grieving tends to bring this question into laser focus, as loss is a transition and it forces us to take stock of our lives.   We are not the same after losing someone we love, or after a divorce/relationship break up, or job change.  Grief breaks open the verneer and lull of everyday life and carries us deep within ourselves.

I recently lost a friend, and for me it was a shock,  as I did not know she was experiencing a health challenge.  She was a vibrant, bright, positive person and thoughtful friend.  Her death caused me to pause, feel deeply, and reflect.  I knew some of her hopes and dreams, some accomplished, some not.    

If there are things you still want to experience in your life and you are waiting for fear to disappear before you begin, you’ll wait forever.  Fear is part of life’s journey. You must feel the fear and do it anyway if you want to make headway with your hopes and dreams.   My friend demostrated this by having fear of playing the violin  and singing for an audience. As terrified as she was, she did it anyway.  She climbed Machu Picchu, lead therapy groups and classes, and was in an online writing class with me that made us all vulnerable. She did all these things with fear by her side, but she did it anyway.

My wish for your soul is that you will begin something you have been putting off and begin living even more fully, right now.   May your journey be full with joy, grief, fear, sadness, excitement, and all the emotions of the flowing water element.  Feeling and being grounded here on earth IS your experience.  Live right now, with feeling!

 Blessings to you dear Kim on  your continuing journey… 

 

 

 

 

Kim Cresse